Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
