I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
