I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize