Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
