Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
