sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
