We won't sleep together?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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