Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
