omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
