Your dad touched me again.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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