WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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