i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
