I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
