I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
