Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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