He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
