you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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