She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
