I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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