Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
