How'd it feel making her break her religion?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
