That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
