the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
