just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
