I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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