i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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