I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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