ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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