I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
