After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
