you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
