She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
