It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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