For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
