What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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