Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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