Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
