dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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