Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he fucked my hip out of place.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
