dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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