Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize