Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
