And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
