I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
