this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
last night I used snow as a chaser
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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