Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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