Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Randomize
