It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize