I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
