Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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