i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize