I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
