ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
