Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We are all done wearing pants today
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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