last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
me + whiskey = a bad person
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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