your thong is hanging out like whoa
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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