My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
