I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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