Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize