I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
