I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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