my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
