Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
